Give People a Chance

One of the greatest abilities human beings have is the ability to change — an important point for you to help your children understand. Just because someone is one way or feels a certain way about someone else one day doesn’t mean that they’ll always feel that way. This is true for both kids and adults.lady trump vs the world

The movie Hotel Transylvania gives a humorous take on this theme. The movie depicts monsters as the “innocent” beings vilified by evil humans. They seek refuge away from humanity. But like humans, they perpetuate the stories of all the horrors done by their perceived enemies — us.

These myths have a basis in fact, but the facts are never challenged, out of fear. It’s assumed that nothing’s changed — at least not for the better – between the two groups.

Enter the human protagonist. Through him, the monsters learn that humans may not be quite as scary as they thought. They even learn that humanity has changed their attitudes over several hundred years.

Like the monsters, the things a person often likes or dislikes about another are based on fears and misconceptions. Some are completely unfounded. Others may be rooted in a fact or event from a long time ago.

As a society, it’s possible to see how this has happened and continues to happen even now. It wasn’t long ago that the majority of Americans thought interracial romances and marriages were wrong. It was actually illegal in most of this country until 1967. Even after it was legalized, it was still considered taboo by many, but kids today are far blinder to this kind of prejudice than previous generations.

There are many areas where you can choose to differentiate yourself from others. Mentally, you can categorize people by race, political party, economic standing, religious beliefs, and level of education. You can even divide people by the types of foods they like and whether they are cat people or dog people.

You can choose to use these labels in an effort to keep separate from people who are different from you or you can use these labels to help you find people with whom you have something in common.

It can come as a surprise when someone with whom you share so many common interests with has a very strong position on something that is extremely different from your own.

These differences can be polarizing and actually result in the end of good friendships.

When you decide to give people the benefit of the doubt and accept them for who they are — even when you don’t agree with them – you’re giving yourself a gift. You now have the opportunity to learn and grow as an individual. By knowing yourself and understanding different views as well as the goodness in them, it’s possible someone’s position will soften.

When you’re open to liking people despite your differences, you allow for a peaceful dialogue. You open yourself to becoming a better human being because you’re embracing your differences.

It’s interesting to note that as an adult, you’re far more likely to recognize that some of the most important people in your life are people you probably wouldn’t have befriended earlier. Sometimes the very traits and qualities that would have divided you from others as a kid are suddenly attractive later in life. Some traits may have softened or changed, but it’s also your attitude that’s evolved.

When you give yourself and others the opportunity to change and experience other people for who they truly are, the world is a better place.

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Making and Recording Family Memories

As the holiday season approaches, it can be a great time to look back on the past. What do you remember from the year? What do other members of your family remember? It can be very interesting to compare these memories and it’s often surprising to hear how differently everyone remembers the same events. Even more surprising is how something that was so important to one person may not even be remembered at all by another.

There will also be family memories for you to share.

They won’t be remembered exactly the same way because everyone in the family experienced them through their personal filters, but you can all make an effort to create and record more of these memories by talking about them, together.

Not only can this be fun in the moment, but it can bring you a lot of pleasure in the future when you look back together or individually.

When families are young, there’s often a lot of recording of family moments. In the past, this was done with cameras and old home movies. There were photo albums or shoeboxes filled with pictures of the first baby’s early years and big events. Then as the family grew, there were fewer pictures of each child. Not because you love the oldest child more, but because you had your hands full.

When your children are very young, it’s possible to direct the activities as well as how and when you record them. Consider your personal preferences and have activities that fill you with joy. At the same time, pay attention to how your children react. They’ll give you great clues even at early ages about things they like to do and things that don’t light them up.

It’s always wonderful when everyone’s having a great time and when each member of the family is doing something they love to do, but rather than stressing out about having the perfect activities and creating the best memories, just try to have fun.

Think about your own childhood. What do you remember the most? If your parents are still alive, you can ask them what memories they thought they were creating. It can be an eye opener to realize that adults often work hard at making happy moments for kids to remember, but the best part of that time may have just been being together with their parents. Hopefully, this knowledge lets you relax a little bit and focus on being there rather than creating the perfect event.

As the kids grow up, you can include them in making choices about activities that will become fond memories in the future and how they would like to record those memories.

When it comes to recording these events, here are some suggestion to keep in mind:

  • Capture the memories in a variety of ways, rather than relying solely on one method. Technology has a way of changing and if all your memories are recorded on video, you might not be able to view them in the future unless, you find a means of converting them to the new media. Remember VHS tapes?
  • Take photos and videos, but focus more on the people and less on the scenery. Be sure to include everyone, even the camera-shy people in the shots. Not everyone has to be in every picture. Allow every family member a turn behind the lens. That way, no one’s left out. And you never know… You might instill a love of photography or filmmaking one or more of your kids by doing so.

As much as one person might enjoy being the director, remember you’re creating family memories, so you want to document that the entire family was there.

  • Collect postcards from places you visit to augment your own pictures. Often the image will be much better, but it won’t have your family members in it. You can write short notes on the back of the postcards too, either of what you did that day or about anything interesting that happened. By combining postcards and personal pictures, you can get a full memento of the experience.
  • Journaling is another way to help capture memories. Encourage each family member to create a journal or travel book of their own. You may elect to share your journals with each other or allow each person to have their own private book, opting to share only selected portions.
  • If you’re artistic, you might consider making scrapbooks from photos and various trinkets picked up along the way. These can be physical or digital. The advantage to the digital books is that they don’t take up a lot of room, but again, you may become a victim of technological advancements. You may consider having a physical book created from your digital photographs for that reason.

Holding a book, photo album, or scrapbook in your hand is a different experience from watching a video or slideshow. While old home movies are making a comeback, many people like to be able to control the experience, lingering and speeding through sections at their discretion.

Consider your family members’ skills and interests both in planning activities and in recording them. Having some books to hold or home movies to watch in the future will be fun, but the most important part is just in having fun family experiences together.

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Is Your Stuff Getting in the Way of Attracting What You Want?

cluttered roomLet’s face it, one of the main reasons that people want to learn to apply the Law of Attraction in their lives is because they’re unhappy with something that’s going on currently. They believe the Law of Attraction (LOA) will allow them to clean up their problems and their lives will instantly get better. They’ll immediately have everything they want.

It all sounds good and in theory, it isn’t exactly inaccurate.

So why doesn’t it work?

If you’ve been learning some of the Law of Attraction tools and have been applying them without getting the results you want, you might begin to believe the LOA doesn’t work.

Well, it does work, but not as neatly as you might like to think it will. It isn’t a matter of meditating a few times or learning a tool or two. You can’t just snap your fingers because the universe is bigger than that.

The most challenging aspect of applying the Law of Attraction in your life is recognizing the energy that you have going on all around you. This includes your thoughts and feelings, but it can also include your physical “stuff.” So if you aren’t getting what you want, you might take a look at whether you have inanimate objects that are getting in the way.

In an effort to be happy and live in the moment, you might often buy things. Since you’ve evolved beyond being nomadic and having to carry all of your possessions on your back or in their covered wagon, it’s a lot easier to acquire more and more stuff.

Don’t interpret this to mean that you should never buy anything again or that you must live a Spartan existence. You might choose to if that’s appealing, and many people actually enjoy living a simple, frugal life, but it isn’t a requirement.

Things are things, but they can also carry a lot of energy. They take up physical and psychological space in your life. If your home if full of possessions, then where will the things you want reside? You have to make room in your home and heart for the new things that you want to enjoy.

Sometimes this literally requires clearing out some of your belongings in order to have a place for something new.

Other times, it’s an emotional process of letting go. When you hold onto things tightly, it can be out of fear. You might be afraid that you won’t actually find what you want. Or it may be that you’re holding onto the past and that past is symbolized by your possessions.

You can honor your past, you’re allowed to have fond memories of your history, and you can even love and keep family heirlooms. Yet when your house is filled with stuff that does NOT have positive, happy energy associated with it, then that stuff can get in the way of attracting good things and experiences.

This is a great opportunity to work with your Internal Guidance System (IGS) to help discover where you need to let go and what’s actually serving you. You don’t have to keep something just because someone gave it to you or because it’s been in your family for generations.

Stop keeping things for your kids. Surround yourself with things that bring you joy or that are absolutely necessary. Get rid of the rest and then watch as the things and experiences you’ve been asking for begin to appear in your life as if by magic.

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Stop Thinking about the How and Focus On Feeling Why

hand with soccer ballIn Western culture, there’s a lot of emphasis placed on thinking and doing. Other cultures recognize the importance of feelings in place of those things.

Your Internal Guidance System (IGS) helps you register how you feel about any given topic, person, or event.

When you’re in touch with your feelings, then we can “feel out” the right action for you to take.

There’s nothing wrong with being an analytical, thought-filled person.

The world needs people who can think through various situations and problems. The problem occurs when you rely solely on your thinking.

One of the best lessons you can give your kids is to teach them to stop thinking so much about how to do things.

Instead, you should all spend more time focusing on how you feel about why you’re doing these things.

The most successful people have strong emotionally reasons behind why they’re acting. It’s these feelings that give them the strength to carry on when the going gets tough.

The saying may be “when the going gets tough, the tough get going,” but if you don’t know WHY you’re going, it’s a lot easier to give up. A better saying would then be “when the going gets tough, those in touch get going.”

Sure, there are some things that you’ll do “just because.” Some of your actions are habits; you do them without really thinking about them. Other habits may still require some thought, but you do them because you were taught to.

People tend to brush their teeth at least once or twice a day. Some people brush their teeth because they don’t want cavities. Most people really brush because that’s what their parents taught them to do. You might not have any strong feelings about the act at all, but it’s so deeply ingrained into your life that you feel funny if you don’t brush.

Other activities require more thought and commitment than brushing your teeth. Whether it’s studying, playing sports, or practicing a musical instrument, there are specific actions that you have to do in order to achieve the result.

In the beginning, these skills take most people a lot of concentrated effort and a lot of thought. They think about where their foot should hit the ball, how to hold their hands over the keyboard, what it feels like to sing from their diaphragm, etc.

With time and practice, it’s possible think less about the individual skills and you can string them together. Individual notes become a scale and then a song. You can run and kick the ball, passing it to teammates and scoring goals.

To truly master a skill and be successful at it, you have to learn to stop thinking about it quite so much.

You have to pay attention to how it feels and why you’re doing it. When you’re doing things because they’re what you feel driven to do, then you’re living your authentic life. When you do things without that feeling, you might still be able to do them well, but it’ll never be as satisfying and fulfilling as doing something you feel passionate about.

If you find that your life is filled with tasks rather than experiences that you’re fulfilled by doing, use your Internal Guidance System to help figure out how you can either modify your actions or change your course entirely.

If you find yourself doing something by rote, take a moment to see how you feel about the activity. Certainly there will be things that you have to do in your life that aren’t your favorite activities, but when you focus on why you’re doing them and that feeling, even the most mundane tasks can be positive experiences.

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Spring Cleaning and LOA—Clear It Out to Attract More

spongeIt might be a little early for spring cleaning, but it’s a good time to prepare for that ritual — with a twist. This year, take the opportunity to do a thorough spring cleaning both physically and mentally.

One of the parts of the Law of Attraction that many people tend to ignore is that they have to have space in order to attract more into their lives.

The thing is, whether you’re talking about your home or you mind, you can’t expect to make room for anything if the space is already too full.

There are many shows on television about hoarders, so most people have an idea of how there is literally room for more stuff than you ever imagined in your home.

All you have to do is keep piling it up on top of the other things. Any horizontal surface is quickly covered with piles of paper, clothes, books, or what have you.

You can stack things, growing the piles until you have only a tiny path leading from the front door into the dark mass of things.

Even if you don’t hoard physical objects, many people are mental hoarders. You read, talk, watch television, and listen to the radio. Any quiet space, like the horizontal surfaces in your home must be filled. You’re so busy thinking and keeping your mind occupied that you don’t allow for any room to wander.

You know that hoarding is an illness and people who are diagnosed as hoarders need help. But how many people recognize the tendency in themselves? You don’t have to have literally maxed out the space in your home or mind to benefit from a good spring cleaning.

You might hold on to magazines because there was a great article that you meant to read. Five years later, it’s still there, unread. You have trinkets filling your shelves that you bought years before that no longer fit your taste or decorating style, but you still hang on.

In the same way, you hold onto old beliefs and fears. You cling to your old patterns even though they no longer suit you or make you happy.

Tap into your Internal Guidance System (IGS) to know what you do want. Use it to help you clear out the old physical and mental stuff to make way for the new stuff.

Getting rid of just one box of old stuff that you don’t need anymore can be freeing, so imagine the liberation of cleaning out the attic or basement.

Allow your mind the time to relax and be renewed as well. Filter the information that you put into your mind. Learn to be okay with quiet. Try meditating. On your next job, try listening to the sounds of nature rather than the tunes on iPod.

You’ve probably heard the saying attributed to Aristotle, “Nature hates a vacuum.” This truth explains part of how the Law of Attraction works. Instead of dreading spring cleaning this year, think of it as setting up a vacuum that the Universe will then fill with whatever you attract into it.

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Our Feelings Not Actions Determine End Result

goal chart with armMany people who don’t believe in the Law of Attraction point out that we must take action in order to accomplish our goals. They seem to be under the misimpression that as believers in the Law of Attraction we are actually coaching people to only meditate or repeat affirmations and expect their heart’s desires to happily land on their doorstep. With a bow on top, to boot!

Of course actions are needed at times in order to get results. But the action without the appropriate feeling will not yield the desired outcome.

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some people will interpret this famous quote to mean that it is the steps you take that are important.

Yet, the journey itself includes not only the path(s) we have chosen during our lifetime, it also includes all the feelings that went into our making those choices. It is actually how we feel about the process, not the specific steps that we take, which really determine our end result.

If you think that the destination is achieving one of your big goals, then you are missing the point.

We all have lots of goals during our lifetime. Our journey doesn’t end when we successfully reach them. Sometimes we don’t even seem to have time to celebrate our accomplishments because we have created newer, bigger goals that we are now striving for.

This is what life is about, moving along a path. We can create the path ourselves, or we can choose to follow a path that someone else has blazed before us. Either way, it is up to us to follow a path and live in the moment. That is what the “journey” is — living in the moment.

If we are so absorbed with achieving a specific goal, we may miss the fork in the road that will bring us extreme happiness. If we set hard and fast deadlines where we will have accomplished our task we may lose out the most important part of the creation—the fun of it!

One of my big goals was to write my book “The Art of Blissful Parenting.” For a while I allowed self-imposed deadlines to create stress in my life and take away the fun of creating. That is when I had to remind myself to check in with my IGS so I could again enjoy the process.

When we allow our Internal Guidance System (IGS) to help us determine our path, the correct way will unfold more easily before us. Some people actually enjoy bush-whacking, forging a brand new trail through hard work and determination. Others prefer to create a unique path by selecting various meandering branches along the way. Still others practically fly along the path because for them speed is the thing. They want to see more and more progress.

It doesn’t matter what type of traveler you are, as long as you are following your heart and IGS. You may even find that you move back and forth from bush-whacker to flyer to meanderer. For a few moments, or even years, you may relish one sort of challenge only to find that later those challenges have no appeal at all.

Pay more attention to how you are feeling while you are on the path than how the path is being created. If you suddenly feel like you need more time, take it. If you have a sudden urge to skip over large parts of the trail or take a short cut “through the brush” then do that.

Our success as individuals is not measured by achieving of goals, accumulation of wealth, or by crossing the finish line first. Our real success is measured by the joy we have felt while we are on the trip.

When you truly feel good about your trip, you will find that your tasks become easier. I certainly have found that when writing my book. When I tried to force it, in order to meet a deadline, I found that it was difficult and others were not relating to the result. When I relaxed and appreciated the creative process, the words flowed.

I started to feel good again about taking the steps that I was inspired to take, but to let the timetable fall away. The end result is a wonderful book that I am very proud of. The bow on top of this end result is that I have memories of a pleasant, fun-filled experience as I move on to the next part of my journey.

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When Applying the Law of Attraction, Are Details Important?

When people are learning to apply the Law of Attraction, they want to be sure they get it “right” and worry so much about the process that they actually miss the point. You need to pay attention to how you’re feeling rather than ticking off a specific list of items. man in front of success chart

It’s your emotional energy that goes out into the Universe and brings back the experiences that match your vibration.

This doesn’t mean that details are never important. It’s just that so often that people get bogged down in the details that they forget about the energy behind them.

Let’s say you want a new house, for example.

You can spend hours looking at other homes, making a list of all the attributes that you want your new house to have, and even create a vision board with pictures of wonderful homes.

Yet you appear to be no closer to your dream home than before. Why is that?

Of course you need to spend some time gathering data, but are you gathering the right data? Are you merely creating a list of architectural details that don’t actually resonate with you and the way your family lives?

Be sure to spend time thinking about what’s important to you in a home. Let every family member contribute to your list. You may be surprised at some of the items that are crucial to your kids or even your spouse.

This list then becomes your “important details.” Look it over and review it with your family members every day. Now you can create your dream board and focus your collective energies on the house you have emotionally built.

Do you remember the movie, Miracle on 34th Street with Natalie Wood as the little girl, Susan? Susan wanted to live in a house rather than their apartment in the city. She even found a picture of the house and looked at it every night. She was focused. She didn’t look at other houses; just the one she wanted. She knew what it felt like to live in that house.

Then one day when she and her family were out for a drive, they took a wrong turn. Of course that led to the family driving right by Susan’s dream house, which just happened to be for sale. This may have been a Hollywood movie, but it really is how the Law of Attraction can work in your life. You never know when the wrong turn will be exactly what you need in order to fulfill your dreams.

Don’t get bogged down in the details that don’t really matter to you and focus on the ones that bring you the feeling you want.

Granite countertops may look beautiful and be the current style, but maybe what you really want is to feel like you’re part of the family activities when you’re in the kitchen. In that case, your dream house may have dated counters, but an open floor plan that allows you to help the kids with their homework as you make dinner.

Whether you’re looking for a new house, a car, a job, or a new love interest, you can apply this same principle. Yes, details matter. Just make sure they’re details that are important to you, emotionally, instead of a laundry list of items that might just be nice to have.

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You Can Have Anything You Desire in the Universe

I recently heard this story and think it’s a wonderful metaphor for your Internal Guidance System and applying the Law of Attraction in your life. woman with shopping bags

A woman was walking downtown one day when she spotted a new store and decided to check it out. She couldn’t tell what sort of shop it was and she asked the clerk what they sold there.

“Anything you desire,” he answered.

At first glance, she saw nothing she wanted and felt discouraged.

Knowing her wallet was practically empty, the lady wondered out loud if there was anything that she truly desired in the store that she could actually afford.

The clerk then told her that everything in the store was free.

Upon closer examination, she could now see what was available to her.

There were jars full of luck, packages filled with hope, baskets brimming with satisfaction, boxes bursting with wisdom, and bags bulging with joy.

Summoning her courage, the woman placed her order, speaking with conviction. “I would like to have a glass of belief, a locket of love, and parcel of peace of mind. And plenty of gratitude and forgiveness, please.”

Immediately, she was handed a package, so small it easily fit in her hand.
Surprised she asked, “How is it possible that I asked for so much and yet it all fits into such a tiny parcel?”

Smiling, the clerk answered, “In this store, we don’t sell fruits; we sell the seeds.”

Whether you have plenty of money or are currently tapped out financially, the Universe will still provide what you truly desire. There may be many opportunities right in front of you, but like the lady in the story, you won’t even see that they are there until you believe you can have them.

In most stores, you choose between various material items. You can certainly ask the Universe for objects as well as a new job, an improved financial situation, or a wonderful new love in your life.

No matter what you ask for, you should not expect to walk out with your arms filled with boxes in this store. It isn’t that you won’t get the things you’ve ordered; you just won’t find them waiting and gift wrapped, right at the checkout counter.

The store represents all opportunities and choices available to you. You can have anything you want. It is up to you to decide what that is. The items that fill the store’s shelves will be different depending on who perceives them. If you listen to your Internal Guidance System, you will know exactly what will bring you the most joy and fulfillment. That is what you should order from the clerk.

Applying the Law of Attraction in your life is like tending to the seeds the clerk has handed you. By planting the seeds and giving them the attention they need, you know that you will get the results you desire. Getting what you want in life starts with selecting the right seeds.

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Law of Attraction at Work: I’ll Have What She’s Having

When you notice people around you are having things that you would like to have, feel what it would be like to also have it. Then get the Law of Attraction to work for you, and put in your order to the Universe and say, “I’ll have what she’s having!”  Image

In the 1989 movie When Harry Met Sally, these words are delivered as a punch line in response to Meg Ryan’s characters faking an orgasm in the middle of Katz’s Delicatessen.

The entire movie is an example of the LOA at work from the beginning.

Rob Reiner had envisioned many other actors for the role now-famous female lead. His list was a veritable who’s-who in Hollywood at the time.

Meg Ryan, who was a newcomer, was not on the list, but she wanted the part, saw herself in the role, and convinced the director to give it to her.

That iconic scene was not originally in the script. Ryan and her co-star Billy Crystal were instrumental in developing the scene. If another actor had been given her part, we might never have had that magical movie moment. That scene has gone on to become one of the most memorable in movie history.

The success of the film, which launched Ryan’s career, was due largely in part to the fact that Ryan knew what she wanted and went for it.

As good as this lesson is, not everything about the scene is an accurate portrayal of the Law of Attraction. Where the movie got it wrong was that the woman delivering the “I’ll have…” line was clearly wistful, and not of the belief that she could actually have the joyful experience.

When you feel jealousy, envy, or even wistfulness over someone else’s success, achievements, or joy, you are putting separation from yourself and that thing you say you want. This is true whether what you want is a relationship, a job, a big house, etc.

This separation means your energy is not in alignment with what you are observing, so you will not attract it to you. As you feel that you do not now have something, cannot have it, or do not deserve to have it, you will actually attract not having it.

If you truly want to have what she’s having, you must be more like Meg Ryan and her character, Sally Albright. Know what you want. Be willing to feel what it feels like to have it before you actually experience it — even if it means faking it.

Order up and be ready to receive.

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How to Use the Universal Law of Attraction

The Universal Law of Attraction works in everyone’s life whether or not you are aware of it. Every thought you have attracts a similar thought or event into your life.  When you intentionally focus on positive thoughts, you will attract actions, events and people that are positive. Image

And if you are always having negative thoughts, you will attract negative things into your life as well.

The Universal Law of Attraction is both powerful and simple to include in your daily routines intentionally.

You only need to do three simple things everyday:  Ask for what you want, believe you can manifest what you really want and receive the things that come into your life with gratitude. Accept these things whether they are positive or negative things because all things move us closer to what we truly want for our lives.

When you decide to actively apply the law of attraction in your life, it does not take years of study. It actually takes only minutes a day. Perhaps begin or end your day with a few minutes of meditation. The important thing is to set aside dedicated time and a dedicated space in which to meditate that is calming, relaxing and comfortable.  During this time, relax your mind and focus on holding a positive thought.

The next step is to think about what you really want for your life. Be as specific and clear as possible because you are sending this thought out into the universe.  Sometimes it helps to think about things you don’t want in order to clarify what it is you really do want.

After you really know what you want to attract into your life, try drawing, painting or cutting out pictures that illustrate what it is you want in your life.  See the thing you want as already being yours.  Ask the universe for what you want and send the picture with your request by keeping it in a place where you see it all the time.

Focus on feelings. Even if you have yet to manifest what you really want in your life, it is important to feel, speak, think and act as if you already have it.  This is the single most important and powerful step in applying the Universal Law of Attraction.

Take time to notice the positive things in your life and be grateful for at least one thing every day.  As new things are attracted, make sure to express your gratitude.  When we give thanks and show gratitude for everything the universe gives us, we attract more of the same.

This in turn, motivates the universe to send you even more wonderful things.  It is like putting your request out to the universe on turbo-power.

Finally, trust the universe to bring you what you really want. Don’t look for what you asked for. Instead, simply trust that you will receive what you have requested. When we look for the things we ask for, it is like admitting we don’t already have it. That changes our focus from positive to negative and only attracts more of “not having what we want.”